Brothers and Sisters

I’ve always said that the best gift you could ever give a child is a sibling. My sister actually used to call an Only Child a Lonely Child, I believe it started as an accident but it stuck. And I think it’s true. I couldn’t imagine life without my sister. We grew up together, literally every minute of every day. We were homeschooled so there really was no escaping each other. Sometimes that leads to fighting, of course, but we always figure it out and end up stronger because of it. We have inside jokes that go back years, we know each other’s likes and dislikes like they’re our own, we can have whole conversations across the room without saying a word, we know when the other is upset and usually know just how to fix it. I could never imagine life without my sister, but I never thought I would need a brother too…

I wasn’t blessed with a brother by normal means. My parents didn’t have another kid, we didn’t adopt, there was no half-brother situation happening. But yet, over my life, I have ended up with a handful of guys I would consider my brothers. Friends or family friends who became so close we became like siblings. Now, I’m glad I didn’t grow up with them, I think that would have driven me nuts, but I am glad I have them now. Just because God blessed me with a sister doesn’t mean I don’t need a brother too. And honestly, I’m starting to think this world would make a lot more sense if every guy had a sister and every girl a brother. Blood relation or not. We can learn a lot from each other and I don’t think it all has to happen (or should) in a romantic setting. 

Guys are always complaining about how complicated girls are, but if they had a sister they might have a better chance of figuring them out. Girls (including myself) complain about how annoying guys are, but maybe if they had a brother they would find they have a little more patience for it. I was homeschooled and only had a sister, so when it came to guys I was kind of lost. I got frustrated easily (and still do sometimes) and just didn’t understand how to deal with guys, let alone actually be friends with them or think about marrying one. But then I started having sibling relationships with a few guys and I realized having a sibling of the opposite gender might actually help prepare you for a romantic relationship, or any relationship really, later on. 

I had the honor of spending a lot of time with a friend recently. He was in Roatan with me for the winter and at the beginning we were just friends, but by the end not only had we started calling each other brother and sister, our friends had started to call us that too. I had never really had a brother before, not one who I had the opportunity to spend so much time with. So I really took advantage of this chance to have a brother. We goofed off quite a bit with several splashing fights and teasing each other constantly. But it wasn’t all just teasing each other; we also learned a lot about each other and grew really close. We looked out for each other, he protected me and made sure I was safe and, in turn, I did my best to help him in any way I could. 

In all my brotherly relationships I have learned that having a brother or sister, or a sibling in general, can really force you to care about someone else’s safety over your own. It can cause you to think about someone else’s happiness without necessarily expecting some “reward” at the end of winning their affections as a boyfriend or girlfriend. It forces us to remove the mask we put on to impress a potential boyfriend or girlfriend and just be ourselves. And learning how to be ourselves with the opposite gender can be a huge step in truly being ourselves with our future spouse. And my personal favorite, picking their brain about any given dilemma (especially if it involves another guy) so I can come at my issues from a different perspective. It forces us to realize guys think differently than girls do and in order to truly understand each other we need to take the time to really listen instead of just hear. All of my brotherly relationships have helped me get a better idea of how to interact with a guy. Get a better idea of how they think and how their brain works vs. mine (because they are different). And every one of them has definitely helped me work on my patience…

I have the best sister in the world and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. But there is definitely something to be said for a protective brother’s hug when it feels like the world is falling apart. A brother looking out for you when he thinks you could be in trouble. A brother to goof around with. A guy to talk to without constantly worrying about whether he likes me or not. And I think sometimes a guy definitely needs a sister to kick him in the right direction every once in a while (lovingly of course) and show him love without it being romantic. And I think we all need someone who we know isn’t going anywhere even if we screw up, because we all screw up. I thank God for my sister (and my sisters not by blood as well, I have several of them too) and my brothers. I would not be who I am without them. Maybe it’s time every brother had a sister and every sister had a brother…