A Gem In The Mud

“You can’t change him” my sister said to me “I don’t want to change him” I said, knowing full well it’s impossible to change anyone anyway “I want to find him,” I said, surprised by my own words. But I quickly realized it was true. I didn’t want to change him; I didn’t want to change anyone. I wanted to find who they already were, deep inside, and pull it out for all to see. Wipe off the years of caked on mud and dirt and find the gem of a person God had created.

I have this funny way of being able to see who God created someone to be. Beneath the dirt and grime I can see the gem inside. Perhaps I will write another post going deeper into that at some point. Anyway… So there I was, thinking about how I know, deep in my heart, who this friend of mine was supposed to be. Who God had called him to be and how amazing his life will be in the future. How he was a gem, a true “diamond in the rough” if you will (yes, shameless Aladdin reference there… I’m a Disney freak what can I say?) And I realized we all are just that…

Every single one of us is a gem; hidden beneath a pile of rock, and dirt, and mud of our own creation. We have put up walls and found ways to distract ourselves from what hurts us instead of facing it and growing stronger from it. We all have those bad habits and dark pasts that build up around us, making it harder to find our true selves amidst the mud. We all have created fake personalities to feel less vulnerable. But the real us is in there somewhere. It’s a gem lost inside the mess.

So no, I don’t want to change anyone. I don’t want to change my friend. It’s impossible to truly change someone anyway. Only God can do that, and even then all he’s doing is exposing the gem he had already placed within. But I do want to help find that gem. I want to help chip away that dirt and grime, the bad habits and fake personalities, scrape away the dirt of the past and find the real gem beneath it all. Because we are all gems, just waiting to be dug out, cleaned off, and made to shine as we are meant to.

New Coat Of Paint

Worship music filling the house, paint cans and brushes scattered over the floor, concentrating as I guide the brush along the trim, covering the old with the new. A friend of mine had just acquired a house that she could call her own. Her excitement was contagious and she invited me over to help her with some painting. The house was in desperate need of some work, new door, patching some holes, a paint job. So after she had sanded it down and fixed a few things she was ready to paint. And I was itching to do just that.

I had been getting overwhelmed and a bit stressed out with a bit too much flexibility for my liking. I knew I needed a bit of a break, something I could control, something normal. We were singing along to the Christian music, talking about what music festivals we had been to, when I realized this was just what I needed. I needed a new coat of paint. I watched as the fresh creamy white paint covered the old brown wood, giving it new life, and realized what a difference a new coat of paint can make. Sure the door still needed to be fixed, there was no oven, no furniture, but with the fresh paint the house looked so inviting. 

There are days when I feel so bright and fresh and ready to do Gods work, but there are other days when I’m just so worn out and tired, frustrated and stressed from simply living life from day to day. My paint gets worn down by being beat up or simply not being refreshed often enough. I refuse to slow down and take a break, but sometimes we need to stop and let God give us a paint job.

I wasn’t exactly planning on painting, and I certainly didn’t know it would be God’s way of giving me a much needed break. I find it relaxing to paint trim, careful not to get the paint where it’s not supposed to be; being precise. And just allowing myself to be in His presence, singing out about his love and not caring whether I’m on key or not, works wonders on my mental health. God was repainting me today. He was stripping away my burdens and just letting me feel his love, refreshing my heart. Painting my face with a smile and my soul with a brightness that leaves others wondering just why that girl’s so full of life. I’m ready to face the days ahead with a new coat of paint, are you?

Don't Need To Be Drunk To Dance

I was at the bar waiting for some live music to start. The bar tender is a friend of mine and he makes me special drinks; no alcohol, usually something fruity, I let him use his imagination. Of course I was expecting the conversation that came next from the guy sitting next to me “you don’t drink?” Ah… no… I don’t. Why do they always have to make it sound like I’m a unicorn or something? It’s not unheard of you know. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had the same conversation. They think it’s crazy that I don’t drink in the first place, but don’t drink and I’m out at a bar? Looking to have a fun time dancing to some live music? Unheard of.

I was giggly and having a fun time and the other bartender asked what I had been drinking, knowing full well it was a non-alcoholic drink. He was kidding, but so many people aren’t. Why do they always make the assumption that just because someone doesn’t drink they don’t know how to have a good time? Just last night another guy made the assumption that if I didn’t drink I also wasn’t a “party girl.” No, I wouldn’t consider myself a “party girl” but I certainly appreciate a good party.

As those back at home know, I like to dance. Ironically, more often than not, I’m the only one dancing at a bar full of people who had been drinking. I get a high from the music pulsing through me and I get drunk on the excitement of friends and fun. Why make it so I don’t remember any of it in the morning? What’s the point of that? I have been to plenty of parties and events where there was no drinking and we all had a fantastic time. There was even one alcohol free music festival where the crowd got so crazy there was a mosh pit! Now they knew how to have a good time without any alcohol! 

You don’t need to be drunk to have fun. You don’t have to be high to have a good time. I know I will probably have this same conversation hundreds of times over, but that won’t stop me from going out anyway. If there’s some good music and good company, I’ll be found on the dance floor with the rest of them. I just might have a higher chance of remembering it in the morning.

(I’m not against drinking, I just choose not to)

Real Job

Real job… what is a “real job” anyway? I mean, does flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant count as a real job? Or is a “real job” being labeled with something considered important like a Doctor, a Therapist, or a Teacher? But what if a “real job” is defined by how much money you make? There are doctors, therapists, and teachers who find themselves not making much money at all, do they still qualify as having a “real job” simply because of the title? Or is a “real job” something you have to go to college for? Because if that’s the case, as I mention in my earlier post The College Question, there are several necessary jobs that don’t require going to college and some of them pay quite well. So what is it? What is it that makes one job a “real job” versus another that’s considered a waste of time or a stepping stone to the real thing? 

When someone asks when I’m going to get a “real job” what they don’t understand is that I do, in fact, have a real job. It just might not meet their qualifications of what a “real Job” is which, as mentioned above, I still don’t know what would even qualify anyway… I am a swim instructor. I am also a writer, the House Keeping Manager at a Victorian Bed & Breakfast, I freehand crochet little animals, and I help clean and organize for several people. For the purpose of this blog post I will focus on my being a swim instructor. It is my most steady job, as it was my first job, and I am still doing it several years later and don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

To be a swim instructor I didn’t need to go to college, but I did have to take a course (while going to college.) I don’t have to go to school for years on end, but to be good at my job I have to keep learning new ways to teach year after year. There may have been times I didn’t have consistent work, but everyone I know has been out of work at one time or another. I may not get paid a ton, but, once I found someone to work for who pays me what I’m worth, I get paid quite well for something I enjoy doing and the time I put into it. I’m not a teacher, a doctor, or a therapist, often times I’m all three at once. 

Like a teacher I have to make lesson plans, deal with trouble students, or change my whole plan because that one kid who never pays attention is actually focused today so we’re covering as much as possible. With a normal three hour block of lessons I could be teaching as many as 50 plus kids in one night in three or more different levels and actually remember all of their names, what they’re good at, and what they need work on. I can keep a whole class of 7-12 year old's under control by myself. And every single one of those kids learns differently and I need to know how to modify my teaching to accommodate them.

In addition to being a swim instructor I am also a lifeguard, something else I had to take a class for and keep my certification up to date. In being a lifeguard I am certified in first aid and CPR and need to know how to help someone if they have a problem in the water. Thankfully I haven’t had to deal with any more than a few scrapes or a bumped head when a kid wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, but I am trained in what to do if there is a problem.

While teaching kids how to swim you would be amazed how many times I had to play therapist rather than swim instructor. Figuring out new ways to get them excited about swimming rather than scared, figuring out why they are afraid and helping them through it. One kid actually, quite by accident, called me his Life Coach once (you may remember I wrote a blog post about it) and it certainly is the case quite often. But it applies more so to when I teach adults and autistic kids. Adults who don’t know how to swim are usually afraid of the water for some reason and sometimes it takes a lot of digging, encouragement, and patience to get to the bottom of the issue. Autistic kids usually just need help getting out of their own way. I am happy to say I’ve had more success than failures with both challenges. 

I don’t know if my job qualifies as a “real job” or not. I know it makes me happy, I know it’s a gift God has given me, I know it’s a job God has called me to have. In the end that’s all that really matters isn’t it? In the end I don’t really have a say in the matter anyway, it’s what God is calling me to do so I do it. God doesn’t call us all to have “real jobs,” some of us are called to be the writers, the artists, the swim instructors. And that’s ok. It is for me anyway. So no, I don’t have a “real job” I have many. And I will do my best to glorify God while doing every single one of them to the best of my ability. That, my friends, is what our Real Job is after all, regardless of the pay or the job title.