Don't Need To Be Drunk To Dance

I was at the bar waiting for some live music to start. The bar tender is a friend of mine and he makes me special drinks; no alcohol, usually something fruity, I let him use his imagination. Of course I was expecting the conversation that came next from the guy sitting next to me “you don’t drink?” Ah… no… I don’t. Why do they always have to make it sound like I’m a unicorn or something? It’s not unheard of you know. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had the same conversation. They think it’s crazy that I don’t drink in the first place, but don’t drink and I’m out at a bar? Looking to have a fun time dancing to some live music? Unheard of.

I was giggly and having a fun time and the other bartender asked what I had been drinking, knowing full well it was a non-alcoholic drink. He was kidding, but so many people aren’t. Why do they always make the assumption that just because someone doesn’t drink they don’t know how to have a good time? Just last night another guy made the assumption that if I didn’t drink I also wasn’t a “party girl.” No, I wouldn’t consider myself a “party girl” but I certainly appreciate a good party.

As those back at home know, I like to dance. Ironically, more often than not, I’m the only one dancing at a bar full of people who had been drinking. I get a high from the music pulsing through me and I get drunk on the excitement of friends and fun. Why make it so I don’t remember any of it in the morning? What’s the point of that? I have been to plenty of parties and events where there was no drinking and we all had a fantastic time. There was even one alcohol free music festival where the crowd got so crazy there was a mosh pit! Now they knew how to have a good time without any alcohol! 

You don’t need to be drunk to have fun. You don’t have to be high to have a good time. I know I will probably have this same conversation hundreds of times over, but that won’t stop me from going out anyway. If there’s some good music and good company, I’ll be found on the dance floor with the rest of them. I just might have a higher chance of remembering it in the morning.

(I’m not against drinking, I just choose not to)

Real Job

Real job… what is a “real job” anyway? I mean, does flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant count as a real job? Or is a “real job” being labeled with something considered important like a Doctor, a Therapist, or a Teacher? But what if a “real job” is defined by how much money you make? There are doctors, therapists, and teachers who find themselves not making much money at all, do they still qualify as having a “real job” simply because of the title? Or is a “real job” something you have to go to college for? Because if that’s the case, as I mention in my earlier post The College Question, there are several necessary jobs that don’t require going to college and some of them pay quite well. So what is it? What is it that makes one job a “real job” versus another that’s considered a waste of time or a stepping stone to the real thing? 

When someone asks when I’m going to get a “real job” what they don’t understand is that I do, in fact, have a real job. It just might not meet their qualifications of what a “real Job” is which, as mentioned above, I still don’t know what would even qualify anyway… I am a swim instructor. I am also a writer, the House Keeping Manager at a Victorian Bed & Breakfast, I freehand crochet little animals, and I help clean and organize for several people. For the purpose of this blog post I will focus on my being a swim instructor. It is my most steady job, as it was my first job, and I am still doing it several years later and don’t plan to stop anytime soon.

To be a swim instructor I didn’t need to go to college, but I did have to take a course (while going to college.) I don’t have to go to school for years on end, but to be good at my job I have to keep learning new ways to teach year after year. There may have been times I didn’t have consistent work, but everyone I know has been out of work at one time or another. I may not get paid a ton, but, once I found someone to work for who pays me what I’m worth, I get paid quite well for something I enjoy doing and the time I put into it. I’m not a teacher, a doctor, or a therapist, often times I’m all three at once. 

Like a teacher I have to make lesson plans, deal with trouble students, or change my whole plan because that one kid who never pays attention is actually focused today so we’re covering as much as possible. With a normal three hour block of lessons I could be teaching as many as 50 plus kids in one night in three or more different levels and actually remember all of their names, what they’re good at, and what they need work on. I can keep a whole class of 7-12 year old's under control by myself. And every single one of those kids learns differently and I need to know how to modify my teaching to accommodate them.

In addition to being a swim instructor I am also a lifeguard, something else I had to take a class for and keep my certification up to date. In being a lifeguard I am certified in first aid and CPR and need to know how to help someone if they have a problem in the water. Thankfully I haven’t had to deal with any more than a few scrapes or a bumped head when a kid wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, but I am trained in what to do if there is a problem.

While teaching kids how to swim you would be amazed how many times I had to play therapist rather than swim instructor. Figuring out new ways to get them excited about swimming rather than scared, figuring out why they are afraid and helping them through it. One kid actually, quite by accident, called me his Life Coach once (you may remember I wrote a blog post about it) and it certainly is the case quite often. But it applies more so to when I teach adults and autistic kids. Adults who don’t know how to swim are usually afraid of the water for some reason and sometimes it takes a lot of digging, encouragement, and patience to get to the bottom of the issue. Autistic kids usually just need help getting out of their own way. I am happy to say I’ve had more success than failures with both challenges. 

I don’t know if my job qualifies as a “real job” or not. I know it makes me happy, I know it’s a gift God has given me, I know it’s a job God has called me to have. In the end that’s all that really matters isn’t it? In the end I don’t really have a say in the matter anyway, it’s what God is calling me to do so I do it. God doesn’t call us all to have “real jobs,” some of us are called to be the writers, the artists, the swim instructors. And that’s ok. It is for me anyway. So no, I don’t have a “real job” I have many. And I will do my best to glorify God while doing every single one of them to the best of my ability. That, my friends, is what our Real Job is after all, regardless of the pay or the job title.

Match Maker

“You should marry that boy!” Or… “You two would be so good together!” Or my personal favorite… “But you two are such good friends!” I feel like every girl (and guy) I’ve talked to has, at one point or another, had someone try to set them up. Someone gets it in their head that it’s their job to play Match Maker and try way too hard to push two hearts together. I have definitely been one of the two hearts several times. Most of the times (thank goodness) they guy and I have managed to stay friends without everything getting weird (or rather, staying weird… Things are bound to get weird when match making meddling starts going on). But I have heard of so many other times with other people where the match making put such a strain on the relationship that instead of getting together, everything, including their friendship, fell apart.

If you’ve been following my blog at all you already know that I am a Christian. And as a Christian I believe God has a guy for me, I just haven’t met him yet (or if I have, God hasn’t shown me he’s the one yet) so when people try to set me up with a guy I find myself getting frustrated. It’s hard enough for me to slow down and make sure I’m doing what God wants with the rest of my life, it’s even harder when my friends or mentors are trying to push me towards some guy who may or may not be the right one for me. When I date a guy I’m dating for marriage, a God centered marriage. That doesn’t work if I’m distracted by some guy someone set me up with and miss the one God actually has for me.

I have a lot of guy friends now that I’ve learned to direct my friendship in the direction God wants no matter what anyone else thinks. I don’t care if you think we’d be good together, only God can decide if we will actually work together. I have guy friends who, yea, we do work well together, but as friends. Not in a marriage. I can talk myself into a lot of things, so if a friend starts trying to convince me that this one guy is right for me, that we’d be perfect together, I might actually listen to the friend rather than God. It takes incredible strength on my part to slow down and think about what God wants over what they might think is best.

We’re just friends! Or even better, we’re like brother and sister (I have a few of those and thank God for them every day) More than once I’ve had a guy’s mom try to set me up with her son. It’s not that her sons not a good guy, he’s just not my guy. Why do we keep coming back to this debate on whether or not guys and girls can just be friends? I’ll make it simple; Guys And Girls Can Just Be Friends! That’s it! That doesn’t mean anything is going on, that doesn’t mean anything will ever happen romantically. And that’s ok! I have learned a lot by having guy friends who I consider brothers. It’s totally ok and actually healthy to have friends of the opposite gender. It helps us learn and grow and become who God wants us to be. So yes, we are really good friends, but I want us to stay that way!

I try hard not to play Match Maker. I wish that those around me would try to do the same. I’m just a girl trying to find the right guy; I don’t want to end up with the wrong one just because someone was really good at pushing my heart. As I told a friend a few weeks ago, there is only one who can play Match Maker, the first and only Match Maker, God himself. He is the only one allowed to push my heart. It is only Him who I will listen to when He says “You should marry that boy,”

Artwork concept by me, artwork by Seventh Hall

Backlit Keyboard: An appreciation post

My first computer was supposed to have a backlit keyboard. It never worked. So I just got used to squinting in the dark to see it, having to have a light on, or leaning the screen down so I could actually place my fingers in the proper place. More often than not I ended up typing nonsense words because, though I can type without looking at the keyboard or screen (while carrying on a total separate conversation and occasionally also listening to music) none is helpful if your fingers are two spots over from where they’re supposed to be. 

I am a writer, as you know. And I often do most of my writing in the dark as I am a night owl and my creative mind wakes up at about 10pm (if I can manage to stay up that late without falling asleep, exhausted from the day’s events) So, as you can probably imagine, a backlit keyboard becomes less of a luxury and more of a necessity.

When I was looking for a new computer to replace the nearly ten year old one that was finally dying on me, a backlit keyboard became one of my main criteria. It took me a long time to finally find one that had everything I wanted but I did succeed. I ended up paying quite a bit more for such a luxury, but now that I have it, I can’t imagine living without it! Not when I do as much nighttime writing as I do.

Everyone has those luxuries they want to have to make life easier or more enjoyable. Some may call them unnecessary frills. Trust me, I had plenty of people ask me “Do you really NEED a backlit keyboard if it’s going to cost you that much more money?” but I stuck with my gut and went for it. For some it may be a luxury, for me it is a necessity. Be sensitive to others needs, they will be different then your own. 

So thank you my backlit keyboard for helping me become the writer God has called me to be. Perhaps I will actually finish that book I’ve been working on… One can always hope…