Boyfriends And Girlfriends

"Everyone's got a girlfriend or boyfriend" says the frustrated 15 year old boy sitting next to me. He was referring to how many of the kids he knows have recently gotten into relationships while he, being older, still hadn't. "I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend, and there's nothing wrong with that" I assured him. I went on to ask if he wanted one and he said no, but he still feels left out. I believe my view on dating is pretty well known by now, so it shouldn't be a surprise that it concerns me that all of these young people I know are already dating, or want to be. Especially when, more than likely, the only reason they're dating is because they'll feel left out otherwise, or it’s just “nice” to be in a relationship. But they're just kids! Why are they in such a hurry to grow up?

Now, I get it, I was their age once too. I would be lying if I said I didn't want a boyfriend when I was their age. But why such urgency? Why so young? There are so many reasons I’m thankful I was homeschooled, and this happens to be one of them. I wasn’t surrounded by a school full of "available" guys growing up. And I wasn’t surrounded with the peer pressure encouraging me to be like everyone else and have a boyfriend. Now that doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it, it just means I didn't have the ability to act on it. And I am so thankful for that.

My first crush (my first one on an actual person, not tv character, that is) was on a guy my mom worked with. He drove me crazy and I didn't even like him that much. He just happened to be the only guy "available" when my view on guys "matured" from them being annoying to them being cute. I came to find out he wasn't really available anyway. He had a girlfriend who he is still with to this day many years later. And you know what? I laugh about it now. I wasn’t heartbroken, I never really cared. I'm happy for him. I enjoyed the time we spent working together and that's all that mattered. I was only interested in him because I felt like it would be nice to have a boyfriend so I picked one. But it scares me to think of what would’ve happened if he wasn’t the only available guy when I was in that stage of life.

I successfully made it through being a teenager without having a boyfriend. And I’m proud of that. I’ve had my heart broken by too many people to add a boyfriend to that list. Especially when I was so young. I'm a very emotional person and I get attached to people very easily. Jumping into an intimate relationship at such a young age, and probably having it fall apart because it would’ve been for the wrong reasons (to fit in and craving attention), would’ve crushed me. I would’ve been so consumed with making it work, or the fact that it didn’t, that I wouldn’t spend any time just being a kid. Figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be. I would always be concerned with making sure he was happy instead of making sure I was. And I probably wouldn’t have spent as much time on my writing as I did either. I would’ve grown up far too fast and, therefore, wouldn’t be the girl I am today.

I can only speak for myself when I say I was nowhere near mature enough to have a boyfriend at 15, and I know people who are in relationships even younger than that. Being in a relationship simply for the fear of feeling left out, or because it would be “nice,” is no reason to be in one. Not for me. When someone tells me they want a boyfriend or girlfriend I’m going to ask them one simple question: Why do you want one? I ask myself the same question every time I think about how I’d like to have one. My answer? My only reason for having a boyfriend will be because God showed me I’m going to marry him someday. If that’s not the case with a particular guy, then I’m not going to date him. I was far too immature and naïve at 15 to figure that out, I am so thankful God protected me from the temptation.

I’m glad I didn’t have a boyfriend when I was a teenager. It gave me the chance to really enjoy all the other things being a teenager has to offer. And I will probably look back at my life in five years or so and be glad I still don’t have a boyfriend now. I find peace in knowing that the perfect guy for me is out there and God will show me who it is when the time is right. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the stage of life I'm in right now, boyfriend or not. How about you?

Bittersweet Memories

The other day I was talking with a nice gentleman, discussing what I like to do. I mentioned I am a writer and he asked if I had anything published. Some of you already know the answer to this particular question, some may not. But the answer is yes, that I self-published a short story on Amazon Kindle a few years back. He asked what it was about and all I could manage to say was "it's about a girl who decided to go on a cruise" I was at a loss for words. Why couldn't I manage to describe my own story? And then the answer hit me. I haven't read it in a very long time, in fact, I had been avoiding it. Trying to forget it...

You see, this particular story is very different than most of my other stories. This story is a mix of my real memories and a fictional adventure. There’s not just a bit of myself worked in-between the lines, there are real true memories on paper for all to see. And those memories, happy when I wrote them, are now almost painful to remember.

They say "you don't know what you have till it's gone" but what they don't say is that when you do know exactly what you have and you find it gone, it hurts even more. We had something special. The people we met on that first cruise. But life happened, things were said, feelings were hurt, and our friendship fell apart. I miss them. And that was why I was avoiding reading my story. But I came home that night and knew what I needed to do. I picked up my tablet and forced myself to read it. Read it start to finish. Not without a few tears, but I did it. And I am so glad I did.

It’s a story about taking chances. Not being afraid to do things that scare you. Especially when you know in your heart it's what you're supposed to do. I found the courage to relive those beautiful bittersweet memories. I know we may never make more amazing memories with those particular people again, but that doesn’t mean I should forget the ones we did make. Because that cruise did change my life. The people we met helped mold me into the person I am today. We were supposed to be on that cruise, just as the girl in the story was supposed to be on her cruise. I know now that, just because I am afraid of happy memories turning to sad ones, doesn't mean that I should stop making them. Instead I will learn from them, and find the courage to smile at them instead of cry over them. The people may not be in my life anymore, but the memories, the memories last forever. And that is truly a beautiful thing.

If you would like to read my short story it is called Pineapple and Hand Sanitizer

The Roatan Dream

March 17^th 2007, St. Patrick's day. The islands green hills towered above us as we waited to get off the ship. To me, it was just another stop on our cruise, but I would learn much later that this island, not the four other places we would visit on that trip, was the whole reason we were on that cruise in the first place. My dad told my mom one day that we needed to go to Roatan. And that was why we were on that ship. Roatan was on my parents, and now all of our hearts, but we didn’t know why yet. Not on that day. Now, ten years later, we do. St. Patrick’s day 2007 will now be remembered as the day the Runaway Pineapple Lodge first became a possibility, a fleeting feeling, but it would be another ten years before it truly came into existence.

My family has always loved to travel. Trips all across the northeast for family reunions, road trips to Florida nearly every winter, and that cruise would be the first of three. So finding ourselves falling in love with this little island in the Caribbean wasn't overly surprising. It was, however, a bit terrifying. We had been there twice on cruises before making the jump to staying there for two weeks. It would be just about seven years after we first stepped foot on the island. But we weren't just staying for a couple weeks of vacation, no, we were looking at property. We were starting to realize what the true plan was. The plan that was seven years in the making.

We looked at a few houses, planning on vacationing there and renting it out when we weren't there, but none of them worked. It just wasn't right. They weren't... us... they weren’t home. Finally we went and looked at a piece of property. A view of the ocean, jungle surrounding us, a walk to the beach. But there was nothing on it. Just land. But we all knew it would be our land. It was meant to be. It took us a long time to admit it to ourselves and to each other however. It didn't make sense to buy land, it would be too complicated. But we all knew it was what we were supposed to do. So eventually, we did.

April 1^st 2014, we got the call saying we officially own the property. The passing feeling had become a passing thought, the thought turned into a dream, and that dream was becoming a reality. We owned property in Roatan Honduras. So what were we going to do with it? Well, in the time between finding the property and owning it, our little dream of owning a vacation house quickly blossomed into owning a bed and breakfast. Our plans changed multiple times but eventually we had a design. A two story octagon house with a loft and a cupola. The house would be mostly deck since, when you're on the island, you spend most of your time outside anyway. A communal outdoor kitchen, a couple hotel rooms downstairs, eventually a few tent platforms scattered throughout the property for some glamping tents. But would it ever get built?

It took a lot longer to get it built than we thought, or rather, than we were hoping it would. We switched builder's, changed our plans around, impatiently waiting for our dream to become a reality. Then, March 11^th 2016, we broke ground. A few long months later we had the main structure. July 2016 my parents would take a trip to the island to do as much building as they could on their own. It still didn't seem possible. So much work still to do...

December 18^th 2016 we embarked on a three week trip down to the island. We worked most of the time. So many things needed to be finished before we could rent it out. The Runaway Pineapple Lodge had a name, a location, it was finally becoming an actual destination. From a fleeting feeling to a reality. Almost.

Now, exactly ten years after I first laid eyes on the rolling green hills of the beautiful island of Roatan Honduras, I am proud to say the Runaway Pineapple Lodge is open for business! Looking back at ten years of memories, I see it took a long time, a lot of faith, endless trust, and much perseverance to get where we are. There were so many reasons to quit, so many times we should've given up and let the dream be just that, a dream. But we didn't, we kept going. Even when it didn't make any sense. Because this place, this place to call home so far from home, was meant to be. Meant to be built. Meant to become a reality. And every step we take, I'm so glad we let it become a reality instead of giving up on the dream. Don’t give up on your dreams, especially the ones God puts on your heart. They will come true in the end. They just might take a little longer than you would like them too.

 

If you would like to stay at the Runaway Pineapple Lodge, or would like more information, contact us on Facebook or go to our website

 

Puzzle

Last week I was doing a puzzle with a two year old. Yes, a disaster waiting to happen right? Well as I watched him try to fit the pieces in where they didn't belong, not paying any attention to the box or the rest of the puzzle to see where it really fits, I realized how hard it is to do a puzzle without the picture on the box. And I realized, that's life.

Life is like a puzzle. There are all these little pieces that, when put together, create the big picture, God’s Plan for our lives. But the difference between the puzzle of life and the actual puzzle is that we don't get to see the picture on the box. Only God knows what that picture looks like and we just have to trust that he will show us where the pieces go.

When I do a puzzle I like to know exactly where a piece fits in before I try it anywhere. I look at the colors, the shape, and I compare it to the picture on the box. I want to know exactly where it goes before I go ahead and put it in. The other day I realized that I do this with life too. I have all these pieces. A random place, a person, a potential job, countless ideas, but I don’t know how they all fit together yet, so I don’t move on any of them. I don’t try to fit them in because I can’t quite see where they go yet. I've realized that's both good and bad. Good because it forces me to be patient and not try to force pieces in where they don't belong. Bad because if I never try it I'll never know if it fits or not. It's a balance I'm currently working on.

This past month some of those pieces started to fall right into place. The picture kept making more sense. A place, a job, a plan. I felt like God was showing me what my picture was going to look like. So I started fitting all the pieces in. Getting ahead of myself. Not realizing that, perhaps, I was cramming pieces in before they were supposed to go there. Then it was like the two year old I was doing the puzzle with last week swept all the pieces onto the floor (which he actually did by the way).

The job fell through, moving no longer possible, my plan was in pieces. My life no longer made any sense. The pieces were scattered on the floor and, honestly, I was in absolutely no hurry to try to pick them up again. For days I just stared at them in shock, wishing they could go from scattered on the floor back onto the table all by themselves. But I know that isn't how it works. I knew I should start picking them up and start putting the puzzle back together again. But at the time, I was perfectly content just leaving them right where they were. Until yesterday.

When things fall apart it's ok to have some time to just stare at the mess on the floor and process what happened. As long as you know you do need to clean up the mess eventually. So today I started gathering together those pieces. Admittedly soaking them in some salty tears, but I started. And that is what is important.

And as I go I am reevaluating some of the pieces I had put aside. Wondering if perhaps it's one of those goals I need to be pursuing right now. I’ve talked before about how there is a reason for everything. Each thing is a piece of the puzzle, we just don’t necessarily know where it fits until much later in our lives. Or, sometimes, we can see where it goes right away. Either way, you need all the pieces to finish the puzzle. Even the ones that look like they don’t fit. I have quite a few pieces that don't seem to fit right now. But maybe these are the ones I should be looking at.

My plan, what I wanted my picture to look like, just wasn't what it was supposed to be right now. Maybe in the future, but not right this minute. I realize that now, but I wish I had realized that before the pieces got swept off the table. But I am picking up the pieces and I'm attempting to put them back together. And I'm going to try to not be like that two year old and try to fit pieces where they don't belong. I'm going to trust that God, the artist of the picture on the puzzle, will show me where the pieces go when the time is right.