Even Better

 

I was talking to a friend a while ago about boundaries and improving ourselves and we ended up on the topic of drinking. I don’t drink but I have lots of friends who do and this piece of advice got stuck in my head.

Don’t drink to make your day better, only drink to make your day even better.

Meaning don’t expect a drink to make all your problems go away, instead use it as a way to enjoy the life you already have. That way it’s less likely to become a crutch and an addiction and instead something you can just enjoy as it is meant to be.

It occurred to me today that this philosophy can be used for a lot of other things too. Mainly our search for our future wife or husband. Yup, my fellow single people I’m talking to you (including myself, trust me I struggle with this too) I end up in this conversation with a lot of different people. Discussing the misconception of when you find “The One” they will “complete you” like it’s a missing piece that you won’t be whole without. The idea that you’re your best self when that other person is there so there’s no way you can be that person without them. So why try? However, that way of thinking can be incredibly unhealthy and unproductive.

Don’t date someone to make your life better, only date someone to make your life even better.

So, let’s break that down shall we? Don’t date someone to make your life better.

Don’t date someone just because they make you happy in the moment, or give you the ambition to keep your house clean, or stop that nasty habit you’ve got. That is an unfair burden to put on them. Right from the start you are putting them in a position of being your savior rather than your partner. Yea, we all come into a relationship with baggage and things to work through, but to come into it expecting them to be the one who finally gets you through it is an unfair expectation. God is the one who is meant to help you through it. Can your other relationships inspire and support you through that change? Of course. I believe God puts people in our lives for that very purpose. But God is ultimately the one you should be asking for healing.

Only date someone to make your life even better.

EVEN BETTER. Well, in order to make your life even better your life has got to be good already right? Now that’s not saying your life is perfect and you have no issues. Instead I mean that in a way of where you are headed. Are you headed in the direction God has called you to go? Or are you still finding yourself wandering off? Are you growing into the person God wants you to be? Or are you still not sure who you are? Are you wrestling with some demons? Or do you have that under control? Are you still ignoring your pain or are you allowing God to heal you? If you aren’t secure in who you are then why would it be a good idea to bring someone else into that? Especially if they don’t know who they are either. Not to mention if you don’t know where you’re going then how do you know their path even leads in the same direction? I am a strong believer that if you are on the path God wants you on, and are making strides to be the person He has called you to be, then in His timing the person you are supposed to be with will end up on the same path as you. Your life is pretty good (not easy, good) if you’re where God wants you. Only then would having someone else enter the picture make it even better.

So, where are you in your walk? Are you growing into who you are supposed to be yet? Is it possible that the reason you haven’t found the right one yet is because they are where God wants them to be but you’re not? Or vice versa? My advice to all you fellow single people out there is this (take it or leave it) strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. All the time. Deal with those issues you’ve been struggling with and let yourself heal. Make yourself better for yourself and for God, don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Walk the path God has for you and let Him decide when you’re ready for your life to get EVEN BETTER.