Backlit Keyboard: An appreciation post

My first computer was supposed to have a backlit keyboard. It never worked. So I just got used to squinting in the dark to see it, having to have a light on, or leaning the screen down so I could actually place my fingers in the proper place. More often than not I ended up typing nonsense words because, though I can type without looking at the keyboard or screen (while carrying on a total separate conversation and occasionally also listening to music) none is helpful if your fingers are two spots over from where they’re supposed to be. 

I am a writer, as you know. And I often do most of my writing in the dark as I am a night owl and my creative mind wakes up at about 10pm (if I can manage to stay up that late without falling asleep, exhausted from the day’s events) So, as you can probably imagine, a backlit keyboard becomes less of a luxury and more of a necessity.

When I was looking for a new computer to replace the nearly ten year old one that was finally dying on me, a backlit keyboard became one of my main criteria. It took me a long time to finally find one that had everything I wanted but I did succeed. I ended up paying quite a bit more for such a luxury, but now that I have it, I can’t imagine living without it! Not when I do as much nighttime writing as I do.

Everyone has those luxuries they want to have to make life easier or more enjoyable. Some may call them unnecessary frills. Trust me, I had plenty of people ask me “Do you really NEED a backlit keyboard if it’s going to cost you that much more money?” but I stuck with my gut and went for it. For some it may be a luxury, for me it is a necessity. Be sensitive to others needs, they will be different then your own. 

So thank you my backlit keyboard for helping me become the writer God has called me to be. Perhaps I will actually finish that book I’ve been working on… One can always hope…

Prince Not Guaranteed

I was at work later than usual the other day, I had been sticking around for longer days so I could make sure all the work gets done. I was washing the dishes and doing the laundry as usual when my boss pops her head in and says she's going to start calling me Cinderella since I'm doing so much cleaning. To which I responded that I wouldn't mind being called Cinderella, if there was a guaranteed prince at the end of the story.

My boss, as amazing as she is, could not guarantee me a prince of course. Which I suppose is a good thing since I would have a lot of people wanting my job if it included a prince, and I couldn't have that now could I? But Cinderella wasn't guaranteed a prince either. She had no idea that after the years and years of cleaning for her Step family she would find herself with the opportunity to go to a ball and, not only find a guy, but a prince to marry. Instead, she made the best of her situation without knowing the future.

Call me crazy if you like, but I believe in true love and that two people are meant for each other. So what if Cinderella hadn't made the best of her situation and stayed until her opportunity to meet the prince arose? She could have run away and found some other guy who would take her hand, but he wouldn't be the prince, her true love. And, as I keep being reminded, it's better to wait for the right guy then to waste time with the wrong one.

The more I think about it, the more the nickname "Cinderella" is less offensive and more endearing. Yes, she was forced to be a servant for a large part of her life, but she didn't let it control her. It was what she did, not who she was. She continued to stay positive and be kind despite it all. Something I try, and admittedly fail, to do. Her strength is amazing and inspiring and I only hope I can handle as much as she can.

Sometimes God puts us in a difficult situation for a reason. We aren't going to have to stay there forever, but we aren't necessarily supposed to run away from it either. My job at the inn can be tough some days. It's exhausting and can sometimes feel like I could work day and night and still not get all the work done. I have considered moving on a couple times, but this is where God has me right now, just as Cinderella felt she owed it to her father to stay until her fairy god mother assured her it was time to leave. Each of those times I thought about leaving God has blessed me with new opportunities to grow into, showing me it's not quite time for my ball yet. He is using this "Cinderella Experience" to shape me into who He has made me to be. Cinderella wouldn't be who she is without having to live through the tough times and hard work. Just as I am not the same girl who started this cleaning job several years ago.

So, call me Cinderella. I will clean the rooms, wash the laundry, scrub the dishes, and do my best to make sure the inn runs smoothly. All while doing my best to be kind and positive. God knows the end of my story, and I need to find comfort in that. And, who knows, maybe someday I will have the opportunity to go to a ball and meet my Prince, it just doesn't come guaranteed with the job.

The Ring

 

No, I’m not engaged, I don’t even have a boyfriend. But I started wearing this ring as a reminder of that. Not that I’m not engaged, that’s depressing, but that I don’t need to be. Not right now anyway. It reminds me of a promise I made to myself that I will follow God and do my best to be happy in whatever adventure He has me in. I suppose you could say it’s a promise ring of sorts.

I know, this ring is a bit flashy for that purpose, I’m sure there’s been a few people who see it and think I must be engaged, but there’s a reason for this ring and not another one. And it’s not just that it’s the only ring I have that actually fits and doesn’t turn my finger green… Though that is part of it… anyway…I came across this ring at a renaissance festival with my sister and cousin. We decided we should get matching rings to symbolize how the three of us were part of the same pirate crew. (If you’ve read any of my previous posts it will be quite obvious that I am a lover of pirates) In this crew I am Captain Opal Jemstone, the pirate I always am when I take on my pirate persona. And Opal is precisely why I wear this ring to symbolize my promise.

I know, I go from a promise ring to pirates, where on earth am I going with this? Just hang with me for a moment more. So, Opal is not the kind of girl who sits around waiting for her prince…or should I say pirate prince…to come along and sweep her off her feet. Oh no, not at all. That is one adventure she knows will come her way when the time is right. She doesn’t need a guy to make her life complete. Opal is the Captain of her own ship for goodness sakes! She has a loyal and hardworking crew under her command and every one of them respects her. She calls each one a friend if not family. She may be a pirate but she is by no means without mercy and gives to those in need whenever she can. She is brave, and caring, and trusts that if a man should ever stand beside her one day, that that’s one adventure worth waiting for.

God has many adventures planned for me. Whether they be little ones like jumping in puddles with my sister after a storm, or big ones like my three month trip to Roatan this winter, they are in His hands and I must trust Him with them. I, like Opal, will trust God to put the adventure of love and marriage in motion when the time is right. For sometimes the best adventures, the most important adventures, are the ones we don’t go searching for, they find us. In the meantime, I will be enjoying all these other adventures God has for me. All with my pirate…I mean promise…ring on my finger and joy in my heart. Hoist the sails and weigh anchor! We are off on an Adventure!



Our "matching" rings

The College Question

"So are you in college?"

I let out an annoyed sigh... "That's a complicated question..."

This is the number one most annoying question I get asked, and it also happens to be the most frequent. "Are you in college?" "Did you graduate college?" "What are you going to school for?" And hundreds of other variations of the same question. It's even more annoying than the "so do you have a boyfriend?" Question. At least that one has a simple answer. "Nope, haven't met the right guy yet." But the school question? Well that's more complicated.

I was homeschooled through tenth grade. From preschool to high school my mom taught me at home and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I started college at fifteen, finishing my last two years of high school while starting on my first two years of college. My professors couldn't believe how young I was. I graduated with my associates degree in General Studies at nineteen years old with a nearly perfect GPA, only a couple B's and one C (It was a poorly done online class) and I'm proud of all of that (not the c, but that wasn't totally my fault). I took a year off to figure out what I actually wanted to go to school for, since I would be paying for it, and school wasn't exactly my favorite thing in the world. Though I learned a lot in college, it turned me into someone I didn't like. Anyway, four years later here I am. I haven't gone back to school and I am finally back to the girl I WANT to be. But that's not my story here.

Not everyone is cut out for college. Should everyone go get their associates degree in something? Anything? Sure! It's a good experience and opportunity to learn more. But not everyone is meant to be a doctor, a teacher, a business man, or whatever else you can go to college for. Something is just now coming out in the news that I've been warning people about for years, there aren't enough people in trade jobs. We're low on plumbers, construction workers, mechanics. Jobs that require going to a trade school or some sort of an apprenticeship and not spending thousands of dollars on a college education that may or may not result in a job let alone one you actually like.

My sister said something the other day that I really took to heart. "You should have a job that you wouldn't mind not getting paid for." Now, sometimes you just need a job because unfortunately this world we live in runs on money, but if you can have a job that you would do for free, that's the job you should be doing. I've heard of kids with perfect test scores being told they shouldn't go to the trade school to be a plumber because they're too smart, that they should go to college and be a doctor or something more "important." And  on the flipside kids being thrown into trade schools because they have "academic issues" when in reality they probably just need a little extra time and attention then the public school system can give them.

I don't know what I want to be when I "grow up" but I know what I want to be right now. I want to be someone who wouldn't mind doing their job for free. I want to teach swim lessons, use my talents to help those who need me, crochet adorable critters that put a smile on people’s faces, be a writer and change the world one little bit at a time. I would do all of those things for free if only the world we live in didn't rely so much on this thing we call money. None of those things require me to go back to college. Could I go to college and learn more and do those jobs better? Perhaps. But is it worth it after calculating the risks to my health, my mental state, and my wallet? No. Because for me, I don't want to be a Doctor, a lawyer, or any of those other jobs college qualifies you to be. I want to be a writer, and I'd like to stay as far away from "starving artist" as possible. Paying for college won't help me there.

Going to college is right for some people. Trust me, I am in no way against college in general. But we must be more accepting of those who decide college isn't what's right for them. That the job they are meant to have might not be one that can be obtained with a college degree. God makes all sorts of people, and the Construction Workers, Car Mechanics, and Plumbers are just as important as the Doctors, Teachers, and Lawyers. They keep the world we live in running just as much as the rest of them. 

So, "why don't you go back to school?" they ask. Because that's not Gods path for everyone. And that's not God's path for me right now.

I Fell In Love Once

I fell in love once. I don't know if it was real love or not because I had never fallen before or since, but it certainly felt real at the time, as most things often do. And then… Well then I had my heart broken.

Now, if you've followed my blog or know me personally you would know that I don't date. So how did I fall in love AND have my heart broken without dating? Let’s just say life doesn't always go according to plan. My head said if I didn't date I'd avoid heartbreak. I would wait patiently until God showed me the guy I was going to marry, and yes, I'm still waiting. But my heart had other plans and did what it wanted without my permission. Technically I never "dated" him, but try to tell your heart to stop falling in love once it already starts falling. Especially when you're not totally sure you want to tell it to stop. I quickly learned that the harder you fall, the more pieces your heart breaks into when the one you've fallen for fails to catch you…

We were friends before my heart got ahead of itself. Our friendship was something special and I wouldn't trade it for the world. He pushed me in ways I needed to be pushed and had a way of calming me down when I was overreacting (which I often do.) He was sweet, and charming, and drove me crazy all at once. And through our friendship he helped me realize who I was and who I wanted to be; and now I am becoming that person. Ironically, after he has disappeared from my life.

Through the whole experience I learned how far I was willing to go to follow God's plan for my life, even if it scared me. And trust me, thinking I might actually end up with a guy in the military scared me to death. That was not a plan I would have chosen for myself. I am... o.k. was... not that kind of girl. And no, that particular plan didn't work out at the time, but I know now that whatever plan God does have for me in the future, with His help, I will be able to handle it. I was ready and willing to take on the challenge if that was what God wanted for me, and honestly, I am stronger and more independent now just from thinking of it as a possibility. I am truly grateful for that.

I also learned to really listen to God, even when He was saying something I didn't want to hear. The last thing I wanted to do was walk away. I didn't want to be the one to let go of this friendship simply because it wasn't fair for either of us that my heart decided to be at war with reality. But the battle was tearing me to shreds and I knew God was telling me it was time to walk away. So I did. And I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was because that was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. I continue to grow stronger every day and have come to fully believe that with God's help I can handle anything.

And after I walked away, I learned what it meant to hurt that much. If you've ever suffered from heartbreak you know how painful it is, mentally and physically. You wish you could rip your heart out of your chest so it would just stop aching, you wish your mind had an off switch so you could get some sleep, and you wish your stomach would hold more ice cream because maybe one more scoop will make you feel better. It took me a long time to get past the worst of it, and trust me, it was excruciating pain. But without pain, there can be no healing. And sometimes healing is what it takes to find who you're supposed to be.

Without that hurt, I wouldn't have had the joy of knowing what it feels like to be healed by God. I learned to trust that God would heal my heart when the time was right. And He most certainly has! It has been an amazing feeling over the last couple years, especially the last few months, to literally feel God slowly but surely putting the pieces of my heart, and my mind for that matter, back together again, stronger and wiser than ever before.

When you're in the middle of something as painful as a broken heart it's easy to think nothing good could ever come out of it. But, looking back from several years later, I wouldn't change a thing. I would not be the girl I am today without it, and I like the girl I am today. I changed, I matured, and I learned things I couldn't have learned otherwise. I learned who I was and who I wanted to be. I learned to listen, to trust, and to allow God to heal me.

I had my heart broken once. I tried to avoid it, tried my hardest to keep it from happening, but now realize I couldn't stop it. It was bound to happen eventually I'm sure. And maybe, just maybe, that's what God had planned all along. Life doesn't always go as we plan. We can't avoid every obstical, every heartbreak. But maybe we're not supposed to. Maybe those painful situations are what God uses to mold us into the people we are supposed to become. Maybe He uses them as a way to get us to go to Him. Becasue He is the only one who can mend a broken heart and He is the only one who will never break it in the first place.

I had my heart broken once, and then God put it back together stronger and wiser then before so that, when the time and guy is right, I can fall in love.

Tipsy Moose

"There's really nothing you can do about it, it's a tipsy moose." It was purely by accident, the two phrases strung together completely by chance while driving with my family last weekend. It sparked a fit of hysterical laughter for all in the car at the time. At first I thought it would just be one of those misspoken phrases that would give us a laugh but then we'd move on, but the more that I think about it the more I realize the saying rings true.

There's really nothing you can do about a tipsy moose. It’s far too big for you to take care of on your own. It’s a moose for goodness sakes! They’re huge! And he's tipsy! What on earth do you do about a tipsy moose without getting crushed in the process? There's really not much you can do, so the saying began popping up in our conversations.

There are some situations that you simply can't do anything about. All you can do is get out of the way without getting hurt. If it's as big as a tipsy moose, this might be more difficult then it may sound. Perhaps you can laugh at the situation because, admit it, sometimes even a problem as big as a tipsy moose is laughable. Once you get out of its way that is. After all that all you can do is hand the dilemma over to God to correct. The only one big enough to deal with a problem like a tipsy moose would be God himself after all.

The world is full of tipsy moose situations. In fact, I’ve already used the phrase to explain many situations that have come up in the past week alone. Problems so big we can't handle them on our own. Things that you just can't do anything about but pray for God to fix them for us or through us. Because without God’s help, we are sure to get stepped on. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not get in the way of a tipsy moose…

 

Tipsy Moose drawn by my amazing cousin. If you want to check out her spectacular artwork go check out her Facebook page Seventh Hall