Monday, March 28, 2016

Peepers

A couple nights ago when I was driving home I was suddenly compelled to roll down my window. Over the sound of my mother talking to me and the music playing I had heard something I had been waiting for all winter. The peepers were chirping. And it was perfect timing as always.

Ever since I was really little I have known the sound of the peepers. They come out in the summer time when the air is warm and those clear summer nights have begun. I have fallen asleep to their soothing noise, a gentle chirping sound. And until a little while ago I had never ever seen one in the wild before, and not for lack of trying. The night I saw him it was raining; a fall chill was in the air. I was getting ready to go to bed. I went to check that the front door was locked and was met with a pleasant surprise. A little frog was hanging out on the window. He wasn’t making any noise, but I knew what it was right away. It was a peeper. He was so little and cute. His little neck moving so fast, as if trying to make noise but failing to do so. His little eyes, mesmerizing. His sticky feet holding him to the window so tiny. Something so simple, but yet, so amazing. Seeing that little frog made me realize how important such a little creature has been in my life.

That little frog has brought me peace many times. When I’m home it is a comfort. Something you don’t realize you miss until you don’t have it anymore. And when I was in Roatan, so far away from home and comforts, that something familiar was sorely missed. But then we hear something unexpected as we drove back from dinner to our rental house one night. We rolled down the car window and listened to that familiar chirping sound. And we laughed as we realized they didn’t sound quite like the peepers we had at home. It was like they had an accent. And I listened to those Hondurian peepers as I began to drift off to sleep and I knew it was going to be ok. And when I was in Virginia Beach last summer, a trip of many questions and not enough answers, I sat out by the beach one night, wondering what I was doing there, and realized I heard something I didn’t expect to. Those little peepers were chirping their song. Letting me know it was going to be alright. And as I sat in the car the other night, at a time when I was worried about what my future holds, I started to hear that choir of chirping little frogs and knew everything was going to work out just as it’s supposed to. As long as I can hear the peepers, I know I’m going to be ok.

The song of the peepers is like God’s way of reminding me that He is always there and it’s going to be ok. Whether it’s with their little Hondurian accents in Roatan, their slightly southern accents in Virginia, or the peepers here at home, as long as I can hear them I know I have nothing to worry about. Sometimes God uses something unexpected to remind us that there’s nothing to worry about, that He’s in control. Sometimes it’s something incredibly simple. Like a little choir of frogs singing at night. The next time you hear those little chirping frogs, sit back, take a deep breath, and listen to them. Then remember that whatever is troubling you, God is in control and it will all be ok because the peepers are still singing their song.

 

Friday, March 11, 2016

Never Grow Up

"Never Grow Up" That's been my motto for as long as I can remember. I've been a Peter Pan Girl since I was really little. I’ve lost count of how many Peter Pan themed birthday parties I’ve had. And I’ve seen and read nearly every rendition of the Peter Pan story that exists. I've even said that I don't want to marry prince charming, I want to marry Peter Pan. Someone who knows how to have fun and stay young at heart. Peter Pan is the definition of my childhood and I have always said it will also be the definition of my "adult hood."

So, as you can probably imagine, finding that it was time for me to go to college, get my driver’s license, get a job, move out, was all quite hard for me. Every grown up thing I allow myself to do literally feels like a piece of the child within me is being ripped away. It is not a good feeling. So, when I was up late the other night finding myself getting excited about my future, well, it also started me thinking about that little girl inside who is nowhere near ready to disappear yet. And I don't ever want her to. Staying young at heart, but yet admitting that it is inevitable that you do need to grow up sometime, is a difficult balancing act. I know that I can't live with my parents forever and I need to get a job. But does that mean I have to “grow up”? Do I need to leave my childhood behind me and "act like an adult" all the time? Or am I allowed to still be a kid sometimes? It is important to be responsible. It's important to be able to take care of yourself. But is it not just as important to let the child inside come out and play sometimes? I think it is.

I still believe that it is possible to be a responsible adult but to always be a child at heart. Where it really matters. As I surprise myself by getting excited about my future and my adult life, my favorite Peter Pan quote comes to mind. It reminds me that the adventures, the fun in life happen in more than just your child hood. There are grand adventures in adulthood too. And life is the adventure. So, as I set off on this next great adventure, both the adult me and the child me both excited and scared, I remember that "to live would be an awfully big adventure" and living means growing up. It just doesn't have to be all the way...