Match Maker

“You should marry that boy!” Or… “You two would be so good together!” Or my personal favorite… “But you two are such good friends!” I feel like every girl (and guy) I’ve talked to has, at one point or another, had someone try to set them up. Someone gets it in their head that it’s their job to play Match Maker and try way too hard to push two hearts together. I have definitely been one of the two hearts several times. Most of the times (thank goodness) they guy and I have managed to stay friends without everything getting weird (or rather, staying weird… Things are bound to get weird when match making meddling starts going on). But I have heard of so many other times with other people where the match making put such a strain on the relationship that instead of getting together, everything, including their friendship, fell apart.

If you’ve been following my blog at all you already know that I am a Christian. And as a Christian I believe God has a guy for me, I just haven’t met him yet (or if I have, God hasn’t shown me he’s the one yet) so when people try to set me up with a guy I find myself getting frustrated. It’s hard enough for me to slow down and make sure I’m doing what God wants with the rest of my life, it’s even harder when my friends or mentors are trying to push me towards some guy who may or may not be the right one for me. When I date a guy I’m dating for marriage, a God centered marriage. That doesn’t work if I’m distracted by some guy someone set me up with and miss the one God actually has for me.

I have a lot of guy friends now that I’ve learned to direct my friendship in the direction God wants no matter what anyone else thinks. I don’t care if you think we’d be good together, only God can decide if we will actually work together. I have guy friends who, yea, we do work well together, but as friends. Not in a marriage. I can talk myself into a lot of things, so if a friend starts trying to convince me that this one guy is right for me, that we’d be perfect together, I might actually listen to the friend rather than God. It takes incredible strength on my part to slow down and think about what God wants over what they might think is best.

We’re just friends! Or even better, we’re like brother and sister (I have a few of those and thank God for them every day) More than once I’ve had a guy’s mom try to set me up with her son. It’s not that her sons not a good guy, he’s just not my guy. Why do we keep coming back to this debate on whether or not guys and girls can just be friends? I’ll make it simple; Guys And Girls Can Just Be Friends! That’s it! That doesn’t mean anything is going on, that doesn’t mean anything will ever happen romantically. And that’s ok! I have learned a lot by having guy friends who I consider brothers. It’s totally ok and actually healthy to have friends of the opposite gender. It helps us learn and grow and become who God wants us to be. So yes, we are really good friends, but I want us to stay that way!

I try hard not to play Match Maker. I wish that those around me would try to do the same. I’m just a girl trying to find the right guy; I don’t want to end up with the wrong one just because someone was really good at pushing my heart. As I told a friend a few weeks ago, there is only one who can play Match Maker, the first and only Match Maker, God himself. He is the only one allowed to push my heart. It is only Him who I will listen to when He says “You should marry that boy,”

Artwork concept by me, artwork by Seventh Hall

Backlit Keyboard: An appreciation post

My first computer was supposed to have a backlit keyboard. It never worked. So I just got used to squinting in the dark to see it, having to have a light on, or leaning the screen down so I could actually place my fingers in the proper place. More often than not I ended up typing nonsense words because, though I can type without looking at the keyboard or screen (while carrying on a total separate conversation and occasionally also listening to music) none is helpful if your fingers are two spots over from where they’re supposed to be. 

I am a writer, as you know. And I often do most of my writing in the dark as I am a night owl and my creative mind wakes up at about 10pm (if I can manage to stay up that late without falling asleep, exhausted from the day’s events) So, as you can probably imagine, a backlit keyboard becomes less of a luxury and more of a necessity.

When I was looking for a new computer to replace the nearly ten year old one that was finally dying on me, a backlit keyboard became one of my main criteria. It took me a long time to finally find one that had everything I wanted but I did succeed. I ended up paying quite a bit more for such a luxury, but now that I have it, I can’t imagine living without it! Not when I do as much nighttime writing as I do.

Everyone has those luxuries they want to have to make life easier or more enjoyable. Some may call them unnecessary frills. Trust me, I had plenty of people ask me “Do you really NEED a backlit keyboard if it’s going to cost you that much more money?” but I stuck with my gut and went for it. For some it may be a luxury, for me it is a necessity. Be sensitive to others needs, they will be different then your own. 

So thank you my backlit keyboard for helping me become the writer God has called me to be. Perhaps I will actually finish that book I’ve been working on… One can always hope…

Prince Not Guaranteed

I was at work later than usual the other day, I had been sticking around for longer days so I could make sure all the work gets done. I was washing the dishes and doing the laundry as usual when my boss pops her head in and says she's going to start calling me Cinderella since I'm doing so much cleaning. To which I responded that I wouldn't mind being called Cinderella, if there was a guaranteed prince at the end of the story.

My boss, as amazing as she is, could not guarantee me a prince of course. Which I suppose is a good thing since I would have a lot of people wanting my job if it included a prince, and I couldn't have that now could I? But Cinderella wasn't guaranteed a prince either. She had no idea that after the years and years of cleaning for her Step family she would find herself with the opportunity to go to a ball and, not only find a guy, but a prince to marry. Instead, she made the best of her situation without knowing the future.

Call me crazy if you like, but I believe in true love and that two people are meant for each other. So what if Cinderella hadn't made the best of her situation and stayed until her opportunity to meet the prince arose? She could have run away and found some other guy who would take her hand, but he wouldn't be the prince, her true love. And, as I keep being reminded, it's better to wait for the right guy then to waste time with the wrong one.

The more I think about it, the more the nickname "Cinderella" is less offensive and more endearing. Yes, she was forced to be a servant for a large part of her life, but she didn't let it control her. It was what she did, not who she was. She continued to stay positive and be kind despite it all. Something I try, and admittedly fail, to do. Her strength is amazing and inspiring and I only hope I can handle as much as she can.

Sometimes God puts us in a difficult situation for a reason. We aren't going to have to stay there forever, but we aren't necessarily supposed to run away from it either. My job at the inn can be tough some days. It's exhausting and can sometimes feel like I could work day and night and still not get all the work done. I have considered moving on a couple times, but this is where God has me right now, just as Cinderella felt she owed it to her father to stay until her fairy god mother assured her it was time to leave. Each of those times I thought about leaving God has blessed me with new opportunities to grow into, showing me it's not quite time for my ball yet. He is using this "Cinderella Experience" to shape me into who He has made me to be. Cinderella wouldn't be who she is without having to live through the tough times and hard work. Just as I am not the same girl who started this cleaning job several years ago.

So, call me Cinderella. I will clean the rooms, wash the laundry, scrub the dishes, and do my best to make sure the inn runs smoothly. All while doing my best to be kind and positive. God knows the end of my story, and I need to find comfort in that. And, who knows, maybe someday I will have the opportunity to go to a ball and meet my Prince, it just doesn't come guaranteed with the job.

The Ring

 

No, I’m not engaged, I don’t even have a boyfriend. But I started wearing this ring as a reminder of that. Not that I’m not engaged, that’s depressing, but that I don’t need to be. Not right now anyway. It reminds me of a promise I made to myself that I will follow God and do my best to be happy in whatever adventure He has me in. I suppose you could say it’s a promise ring of sorts.

I know, this ring is a bit flashy for that purpose, I’m sure there’s been a few people who see it and think I must be engaged, but there’s a reason for this ring and not another one. And it’s not just that it’s the only ring I have that actually fits and doesn’t turn my finger green… Though that is part of it… anyway…I came across this ring at a renaissance festival with my sister and cousin. We decided we should get matching rings to symbolize how the three of us were part of the same pirate crew. (If you’ve read any of my previous posts it will be quite obvious that I am a lover of pirates) In this crew I am Captain Opal Jemstone, the pirate I always am when I take on my pirate persona. And Opal is precisely why I wear this ring to symbolize my promise.

I know, I go from a promise ring to pirates, where on earth am I going with this? Just hang with me for a moment more. So, Opal is not the kind of girl who sits around waiting for her prince…or should I say pirate prince…to come along and sweep her off her feet. Oh no, not at all. That is one adventure she knows will come her way when the time is right. She doesn’t need a guy to make her life complete. Opal is the Captain of her own ship for goodness sakes! She has a loyal and hardworking crew under her command and every one of them respects her. She calls each one a friend if not family. She may be a pirate but she is by no means without mercy and gives to those in need whenever she can. She is brave, and caring, and trusts that if a man should ever stand beside her one day, that that’s one adventure worth waiting for.

God has many adventures planned for me. Whether they be little ones like jumping in puddles with my sister after a storm, or big ones like my three month trip to Roatan this winter, they are in His hands and I must trust Him with them. I, like Opal, will trust God to put the adventure of love and marriage in motion when the time is right. For sometimes the best adventures, the most important adventures, are the ones we don’t go searching for, they find us. In the meantime, I will be enjoying all these other adventures God has for me. All with my pirate…I mean promise…ring on my finger and joy in my heart. Hoist the sails and weigh anchor! We are off on an Adventure!



Our "matching" rings